


Accursed Blessing

by HoshisamaValmor (HannibalCatharsis)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Backstory, Dysfunctional Family, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalCatharsis/pseuds/HoshisamaValmor
Summary: "You save just to be destroyed in return?"(Spoilers! Anything you read past this point will have spoilers so please beware. Ardyn during his time as healer, and the tolls it took.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has got to be one of the most whimstical fics I remember writing. I had a rough night, and tried to sketch something Ardyn-inspired to easy my mind. Ended up with an image that unwillingly turned out similar to a child. This elapsed from there.
> 
> Also, shoutout to Final Fantasy Peasant video on youtube, explaining Ardyn's origin and providing some opinions and interpretations for my averting brain.
> 
> Lastly, this has obviously major spoilers regarding Ardyn's character and from the summary forward I assume anyone reading knows he's Ardyn Lucis Caelum. Anything else besides his identity/name in this fic (scenario/family/daemons/whatever) is my own thing and just the theory I prefer to lean on to, without more canon confirmations we are all up to interpretation.
> 
> Disclaimer: Obviously don't own anything related to Final Fantasy XV, except the 10 year old wait, we all do.  
> And fighting life and nihil. That I own.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was always harder when it was children.

The menace had no discernment between people. The possiblity - the ability - to bring back health and light was a blessing, even though it meant that he had to witness these saddening scenarios to begin with.

The blackness poured out of her eyelids, an appalling image, as if the eyes had melted and dripped over her cheeks like tears. There was still reflection however, some apparent form of cold irises in the darkness that fixed and pierced through him. Her mouth was slightly parted, almost as if she had attempted but forgot to speak for a while; lips darkened as well, something so wrong on a lively young girl, not past the age of ten. Her hair was unkept and waving softly and unnaturally with some wind gush only she could feel. Her family had couched her with whatever pillows they could find, trying to make her comfortable. The possibility of threat didn't fully register to them, as it was apparent by the lack of any straps or bonds locking the child in place. It was a slight relief - he had seen too many people in such way, distorted too far to the point of monsters that their own families were forced to treat them like feral animals.

She layed sit, unthreatening and covered to her waist with a cozy blanket, immovable to the point of appearing not breathing. It was a wretching sight, but her condition wasn't the most common he attended; even less having the person so still, no visible pain from the human suffering or rage from the daemon transforming.

When their presence was made clear, her eyes shot up startlingly, locking on his own immediately.

This was what he saw.

Ardyn Lucis Caelum stepped inside the room, an easy smile growing on his features. He bowed his head slightly to the girl.

"Thank you so much," the mother kept whispering, time and again, voice overwhelmed by the gratitude her words already expressed. "Thank you, my lord. We were so afraid..."

"It's alright. I'm glad I can help," Ardyn tried to reassure her once more.

"She hasn't spoke or ate for days, or reacted at all, just... we were so worried she would turn... like everyone else, a mons-"

The mother didn't continue, her husband now holding her in an embrace and looking pleading to Ardyn. He bowed his head to them and turned to the child again.

"Good afternoon, little one. I'm sorry to come bothering you," Ardyn greeted, his tone joyful. With children more than anyone else, he made his best to comfort them. It was hard enough that she had to suffer the scourge tearing at her, he didn't want to provoke and trigger a response by looking challenging.

"Who are you?"

The smile increased.

"My name is Ardyn."

"Are you a healer, Ardyn? The healer? Chosen by the Gods? Are you suppose to help?"

"I can help you get better, yes."

"How?"

Ardyn smiled encouragingly. The family behind him stayed absolutely unchanged to their daughter first signs of response in days.

Daemons didn't speak. When in the process of distorting and transforming into daemons, most people could only scream or wail, to their families' anguish. This calmness, normal unchanged voice, it was for his ears alone. It had been so more often, as time passed, as more people returned from the scourge's grasp and their daemons transfered to someone else. Slowly, he started to notice it more and more. He talked openly to them, but everyone else would only hear Ardyn's voice, assuming it was a strange habit or part of his powers.

To whom he was talking to at these situations, the human or the daemon, was something he wasn't sure of himself.

The girl's parents whispered quietly as he stepped closer, lowering himself to his knee.

"You don't have to worry. It'll be gone and you'll feel better."

At this, the blackness on her cheeks quivered and Ardyn flinched however slightly. The daemon didn't move or otherwise showed any sign of attempting to attack, yet the threat was tengible.

"You want to destroy me?" The voice didn't change like he had witnessed before. He was expecting to hear the creeping, distorted sound that soon after destroyed people's ability to speak altogether, but there was a low, chilling note nevertheless.

"No. It'll be alright. Trust me."

The child's daemon eyes fixed upon him for a moment of silence. They pierced through him, and would drive anyone chilled to the bone. Eventually, she grinned, a scoffing sound unnatural on a little girl. Black fell like tears now, but quivering like a living creature.

"Ardyn, the Savior of Lucis. You save just to be destroyed in return?"

"You needn't worry about me."

"I don't, Ardyn Lucis Caelum. Maybe others do, and not for your well being. Perhaps you should start to see beyond yourself to what others see you as."

Rather than react to the words, Ardyn picked the girl's arm in his hand, feeling the darkness throbbing and pulsing like a heartbeat from her skin to his. He raised his eyes to hers, staring at the daemonical calm visage before closing his own and resting his forehead against hers. The daemon didn't so much as struggle, simply witnessed the soft, almost invisible glow formed between them, perhaps curious to what it was.

The blow was unexpected, a sudden and piercing sting to his chest that took the air out of his lungs, leaving him able to do nothing but gasp sharply. In turn, the child simply leaned slowly back, resting her head on the pillows behind her. Whilst Ardyn panted as lowly as he could given the absolute lack of air, the abrupt pain gone but a remaining sense lingering, the girls' parents own gasps were loud and uncontrolled as the child's brows frowned and she opened her eyes. Warm brown like her mother's.

"My goodness, Gratia! My love, you're alright!" she cried, throwing herself to the girl's lap.

"Thank you, thank you, my lord!" the father said, tears on the corner of his eyes as he too laid next to his wife, hands grasping a shaking hold on the girl's. She blinked, tired and apparently confused.

"Mom, dad. How... what happened?" She started whimpering and crying shortly after, fear and relief pouring down her face at her parents' tight embrace.

The family held closer, their moment of relief and peace to be remained unshattered as the emotions flowed out. Laboriously, Ardyn stood up and breathed in, doing his best to fully dispel the impact away and leave.

"My lord!" the father turned to him before he could even try to exit without bothering them. "My lord, we're so... we cannot... thank you, thank you! You-"

Ardyn smiled, the tiredness fueled by the recovery and not anything else. It took him a moment to realize the man had interrupted himself, and Ardyn looked up to see a shadow of concern on his face.

"Are... are you alright?"

"I am," he assured. He tried his best to recompose himself, the smile the best way to it.

"You're pale, do you wish to-"

"No, I'm fine, thank you. I do wish to be of no further disturbance. I'll take my leave."

The parents' gratitude wishes and pleading concerns echoed until he left, engraved with the image of their tears, the child's, not thickly black anymore, but of overflowing joy.

It was a blessing. The price to pay was small in comparision.

.

Night time had fallen when he returned. Despite the sudden consuming exhaustion, he took his time walking back. An early autumn rain started falling, sparse and soft raindrops playing through a raising wind and spraying the people outside. The people he came across grumbled occasionally, but he found the rain a welcoming change. He raised his face up to let the drops fall on his skin, eyes closed and taking in the fresh smells brought by the wind, thinking of nothing in particular rather than his surrounding landscape and the changing colors of the sky. Even the slight aches on his body that started to grow through his legs and feet weren't really registing on his mind. It brought a suspended sense of peace of his own.

The first person he encountered made an unwanted shiver on this.

"You've returned. Another wave of salvagings, Ardyn?"

"The day has taken its toll, I'm afraid, brother. What about your day?"

Izunia Lucis Caelum shrugged more than anything, a behaviour that Ardyn hadn't thought of rather childish maybe until this point. And even now, it was a small remark, more a funny one than anything. The same shrugging attitude as when he was a small boy, now transported to a grown man with grey spurring on his temples and beard brought a small smirk to Ardyn's face.

"Not as exciting as yours, perhaps. We've heard about your deeds today, I wouldn't know how you keep it up everyday."

"Heard? My, did I take so long for comments to arrive before me?"

"You're a well known man, Ardyn." A female voice joined the conversation, and Ardyn's beautiful sister-in-law approached her husband. Her face appeared slightly rounder since morning, if it was possible. Ardyn bowed his head, and she replied with a bow of her a own and a soft smile. "Welcome back."

"Thank you, my dear. I do admit I am more tired than I would have assumed."

"You look pale, brother," Izunia noted, taking his wife's arm affectively on his own. "You had quite a lot on your plate today. You had to heal a child too, wasn't it?"

Comments do travel fast. "A most frightening impact, but the child was cured."

"What a relief," Clara sighed.

"Yes, a relief. Your powers are impressive as always."

"My dear brother, although I wouldn't mind talking more, I am rather tire-"

"You don't look so good, indeed. Did you feel ill at the house or something of the sort? Or on your way back? With the amount of gratitude you get from your deeds, I'm sure everyone will do everything to help you. Then again, nothing shorter than that is expected when in presence of a King."

Ardyn's smile was frail, but he did nothing much past breathing out softly. He chose to take some of Izunia's comments with jest and lightness, but he _was_ tired.

"Her parents must have been beyond worried." Clara said instead, hand unconsciously over her bloated belly. "Was it troublesome to get rid of the daemon?"

"They were worried, but it's alright. The child didn't attack anyone, actually spoke and acted as calmly as I hadn't seen before."

Izunia's brow frowned. "Did you visit more than one household?"

"I did not, no. Not with children. If you please..."

"Then what child are you talking about? The comments spoke of a bedsick girl, vegetable condition. She didn't speak, did she? Maybe only until after you've healed her?"

Ardyn parted his lips, but didn't reply.

"Izunia, that's silly. You make it sound like he meant the daemon talked."

"I did mean that," Izunia corrected. As if he became aware of the stern, low tone of his voice, he scoffed softly afterwards and sneered. "That wouldn't really be a power worth having, right? Not even you can talk with daemons, they don't speak. I apologize, brother. I, on the other hand, do speak and should perhaps think before doing so. With your powerful reputation, people _could_ start believing things about you that are not real, take some of it as monstrosities rather than blessings."

The renewed smile that grew on his face was but tired reflex and empty of anything else. To process more past the words of Izunia at this point, the implications and subverted tone, was not something he was leaning towards.

"Either way, rest assured, Izunia. She did not speak. _I_ do chat a lot, as you know. If you do hear comments on that regard, know that _I did_ speak to the girl before curing her of the scourge. But I wouldn't know why I do it. Talking with the ones afflicted helps me concentrate, perhaps. I chat with the wind - take my word, Clara, I do," he added to her soft giggle. "Had the most interesting conversation with the rain and wind walking back here, which left me even more sourely tired. If you please, I'll be retiring myself for the night."

"Yes. You do need your rest, like I said you look pale and tired. Perhaps you should-"

_start to see beyond yourself to what others see you as._

Ardyn gaped momentarily, which led to an awkward silence in which the three of them merely stood in place. His vision blurred as his eyes averted slightly, the words unexpected on his mind numbing him. It took him another moment to process Izunia had finished talking, and he didn't know which words were actually said. His gaze brought back to focus by his brother clearing his throat loudly.

"See? I'm sleeping on my feet," Ardyn managed to quickly say, bowing his head to both Izunia and Clara before leaving.

His bedroom was dark and thankfully quiet. He allowed himself to sigh longly, starting to remove layers of clothes and dragging his feet towards his bed. He rubbed the back of his head tiredly, not really relieving any pressure, only to sigh again. As he passed by the only mirror he had in his chamber - one that he had been considering removing - a quick curiosity plagued at him, but immediately thought of proceding without hesitation, lying down and find some much needed sleep.

Instead, a glimpse on the mirror. And there it was.

Black.

It was gone the second he blinked. Ardyn was left staring at his reflection, finding himself pale and slightly sickily looking indeed. Other than that, his unkept hair was sending a couple of locks over his face, his features heavier by the tiredness of the day more so than usual, dark bags threatening to soon form under his eyes. But even those were normal, human - not the same blackness pulsing and pouring out of black eyes just like a moment ago, one that puddled under his eyes like tears. The eyes... the daemon's eyes. They were the same as the ones just now. They had grown to be fully black - just three days before, they weren't, it was just the black drips - leaving those two white circles just like the child had earlier.

Slowly and not as absent minded as he would have liked, Ardyn moved his hand to his face, to the corner of his mouth. The reflection was normal, and he simply saw and felt his finger touch the light stubble on his cheek, but just in that glimpse moment... it had been stained, dirtied. If it grew, it would distort his lips.

His reflection would look like a daemon for a moment. It already did.

This was what he saw.

Maybe in time everyone would.

Savior of Lucis.

_Accursed._

.

to be continued

.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please allow me to have this big note as intro to this big chapter. So, the unexpected (and continuous) positive feedback leaves me really happy and humbled. It made me grow some courage to try and write more. I did imagine it before, but I was too worried about time restrains and overall concept ideas.
> 
> My biggest concern was now the 'weight' on my shoulders, because I fear that chapter 1 and the following may appear disattached. Biggest concern being: me adding too much interpretation/headcanon content on the surroundings and family at this stage of Ardyn's life. In order to build a story that holds and makes sense going into the canon game story (and for my writing pleasure) I'd have to add my twists - and that by doing that I may take away the enjoyment of some readers.
> 
> But this back and forth mental process only stressed me out and I didn't construct anything. I ended up messaging people on tumblr too as well, thank you for your replies. The only reason the first chapter was written to begin with was because I lost all worry on the external and focused on the internal, so might as well do something similar. Hope you get to enjoy and sorry otherwise. I hope chapter 1 was good for you guys.
> 
> The girl sketch (Gratia) that held me out of nihil and began this fic is here: hannibalcatharsis-zero.tumblr.com/tagged/the-girl
> 
> I'll have further comments in the note at the end. Again, disclaimer is the same. The OCs in here and this interpretation of his past are of my creation.
> 
> So, let's.

 

.

The recent Kingdom of Lucis woke up to the birth of Prince Pax Lucis Caelum, son of Prince Izunia and Lady Clara. The good news traveled fast, and with it the omen further even; the omen of peace and prosper as the light shone longer that day, stretching it to the longest one in recent memory. The people basked and rejoiced.

The Blight would end soon, and Eos would continue to live in peace under the grace of the Astrals.

Ardyn woke up to that day stumbling off the bedsheets and vomiting whatever little containts had remained in his stomach.

Gasping and coughing to catch his breath, Ardyn hooked his arms beneath himself to keep from falling next to the sickening puddle. Slowly testing if he could straighten his arms and lift himself to a sitting pose rather than kneeling, his whole body shook and burned, trying to force him to tear apart in half as he tried vomiting again, even though the only thing that oozed out his mouth was bile and saliva.

For a frightful moment, through the tears in his eyes and the hammering in his head, Ardyn saw black in the puddle, but blinked and it was gone. Shaking now from the painful cough rather than the dilacerating clench in his stomach, he restarted the task of raising himself to his hands. Thin strings of sweat ran through his hairline and down his back. Through gritted teeth, he fought against his body and dragged himself up. The tears fell and cleared his eyes, allowing him to see the stains of dirt over his hands, tangled around his knuckles, going up to his arms.

He was already sitting down when somehow, he was able to question himself where that dirt might have come from. But he blinked, his vision clear of tears already, and the stains grew shapes, recognizable forms _beneath_ his skin, not over. Veins, busted and contorted, pulsing slowly and viciously, growing and decreasing like an ocean tide, visable through sickening discolored skin.

The terrifying feeling from before increased, strangling his lungs. He blinked again, rubbed his eyes first disbeliebly then harshly, but the black wasn't gone.

The air he so labourisly regained vanished.

It was over. _It's over, I won't change back. I've turned into one of them._

His head shot up, searching in reflex for the familiar place, but it was empty now that the mirror was gone. He cursed his decision to hide it away, no longer able to stand the painful clench in his stomach everytime he'd glance at it, never knowing if it would reflect his normal self or _his real self_ that darkness quivering through him, if it was an hallucination of his clouded exhausted mind or if everyone was going to see the monstrosity in him.

Was he hallucinating? _For how long haven't I slept decently?_ Was this only happening through his eyes, through his mind?

The shivering that pierced through his muscles was now far from being physical strain. The constant headaches he had been living with for the past weeks were currently sending low pulses of pain, entwined in his fear and making his nauseously floating. It was physically impossible to vomit anything else, so it only made Ardyn trip on his feet and search for a supportive wall that was far too out of reach.

He half dragged, half stumbled his way to the bathing room adjacent to his chamber, such a privilege that he had never before been as thankful as now. He couldn't call anyone - the mere idea brought a choked gasp from his mouth - so he was forced to use the two buckets of water the handmaiden already left as per his request. What he needed was a long bath to avert his mind from himself, but the two parce portions of water would make due and would be a blessing. For the past weeks, the constant waking up covered in sweat had forced him to request a constant salvage of water nearby, and so without alerting any handmaiden in the middle of the night to witness his terrors or to witness what he was turning into.

Ardyn dived his cupped hands into one of the buckets and threw the water to his face, scrubbing harshly, as well as his nape and neck. Cleaning his face in hope to cleanse the blackness he knew was pouring in and from him was the smallest support he could hope for. He repeated and stood there, harshed breathing heaving his chest up and down in an uneaven rythm as he waited for the water surface to stabilize. Maybe the reflex wouldn't be tainted. Maybe it was all in his head.

Before he could make out the clear outlines of reflection on the surface, sounds echoed outside his chamber. Holding his breath once more, he quickly searched for some cleaning rag the handmaiden might have left behind; he still had the puddle of vomit on the floor of his bedroom. If someone called for him, or if an handmaiden was sent by Clara or Izunia or someone else, their worries about his well being would reach a dangerously narrow step closer to the truth.

He managed to scrub the floor and soak the bile in a big rag that quickly started dripping, but he stuffed it inside the water bucket and hoped an uttered explanation to the handmaiden that would find the poor result would be enough to work as an apology and leave the subject without much more inquering. Hopefully he could simply empty the bucket and throw away the rag, hiding all evidences himself.

The sound outside was closer, and now clarified as voices in a conversation. The words were muffled through the door, gaining distinction by each step.

"Is he still in bed? Is everything alright?"

That voice was familiar.

Ardyn barely had time to put on a shirt before the door opened and Aurea stepped inside, not as quietly as one would have assumed she would if Ardyn really had still been sleeping.

His eyes widdened in surprise, yet a part of him simultaneously breathed in relief that Aurea didn't react in fearful shock or disgust - he was normal. His appareance wasn't yet to others what he alone saw.

"Aurea! You're here! When, when did you return? I heard no word that you were so recovered!"

The slight frown on her forehead didn't soften and she closed the door behind herself, quickly shortening the distance between them.

"Everyone said you were still in your room, and it's so unusual, plus Clara has had her child, you should have attended to them already."

"I am very happy to see you as well, my dear," he couldn't help but adding, though he was genuinely happy and playful. It had been two months, and he surely hoped Aurea's first words wouldn't be the ones she had spoken, but it hardly mattered, she not only was back as she looked wonderful and completely healthy. "And Clara had the baby? My, that is wonderful! You've returned with the greatest of news and good omens, I see."

"The news are bound to have reached even Niflheim by now, and yet you hadn't heard living in the same castle? Ardyn," Aurea seemed to notice the damping of his hair when he washed his face and the shirt had glued itself around the water trails that had fallen through his chest and back. "Did you wash? But none of the handmaidens said anything about you being awaken and having a bath prepared-"

"No, I was just refreshing myself," he lied quickly, such an increasingly easy habit with the worsening of his condition. As was averting matters from himself. "You are back! We will go see Clara and the baby together then, but please, sit down with me for a moment. How has Tenebrae been for you?"

He was doing everything to ensure nothing would be wrong and that she could relax past that first worry, but Aurea's face didn't recover her usual lightness and calm, the frown still present. Her hair had grown longer, framing her features even more beautifully, and the traces of weakness and weariness he had last seen on her seemed to be completely gone. It's a curious feeling, to know there's something missing and longing for it, and then it's in front of you and you cannot fully begin to process how everything is suddenly right and blessed.

"It's so good to see you, Aurea," he said without thinking. It was too genuine to not be said.

"I am glad to be back. I've missed you, but I didn't... I'm worried. I expected to find you like when you last waved me goodbye, and you seem... Are you alright, Ardyn?"

_Don't falter. Please._

_She can see it. She knows._

"I have spoken to Izunia when I felicitated him and Clara. He mentioned you haven't seem well lately. He was worried, but-"

_not for your well being. Perhaps you should start to see beyond yourself to what others see you as._

_It's over. You'll be hated by everyone. Who will save you now, Savior? You're lost -_

"-like this, Ardyn."

It took more effort than he would have dared to admit to keep the pulsating pain in his head from being evident. Ardyn blinked and closed his eyes, breathing slowly through his nose, losing the grounding on what Aurea was speaking and what he was hearing. The black world outside his eyes wavered and he felt dizzy.

"Ardyn?"

The voice was like an echo, but it abruptly ceased the other echoes, voices, thoughts, whatever they were. He opened his eyes, surprised, or perhaps confused by the sudden alteration. Everything was fine now. Aurea, on the other hand, couldn't possibly know what had happened. What she had perceived was the sight of a stubbornly sickened man and had created an even heavier mark between her eyebrows, a look Ardyn hadn't seen in her face before.

"I apologize, I lost track of your words. I _haven't_ been sleeping much, and I don't like to admit how it has been affecting my attention span. I'm fine, I am, tired yes, but I'm stubborn against showing and then I fail. I never intended to appear disintered and now it's all I-"

"Ardyn, stop."

Ardyn cut the word he was about to say, his mouth gaping momentarily. They stared at each other in frozen silence for a moment. He almost moved his lips to try to return to some averting matter like before, holding on to it like a lifeline, but the silence lengthened and clamped his chest. It took away his voice and any quickly scripted speech, as he realized any rehearsed attempt would be nothing but a sorrowful evidence to Aurea that everything he was saying was a lie.

There was little use in lying to Aurea. She had her ways of knowing.

"Have you been sleeping? At all?"

"Not much."

"But you haven't stopped traveling. You haven't stopped searching for the daemons and cleansing them."

He searched for new words, his mouth still gaping and his eyes lowering now. He swallowed without even noticing.

She seemed to be growing to exasperation, and her attempts to hide it were being just as successful as Ardyn's before.

"How are you functioning? How do you suppose you'll keep doing this at this rate? "

There was little use in lying to her, but even less so to tell her certain truths.

But this was Aurea. Again, even in his silence, her expression changed, her eyes widened, brows closer as if she was in pain, his lack of response was the answer she needed.

As if she knew.

"Ardyn."

He didn't want to have this conversation.

_But it's time to, before everyone sees it._

"Ardyn," she called when he shook his head, a childish instictive way of trying to push them aside, as if that simple physical action could drive them away - the darkness, his thoughts, growing louder as the headache returned throbbing. Or just _thoughts_ , whomever they might belong to.

_The fact you question it should be worrisome enough, no?_

_Oh Gods, this is getting too much._

Instead, Ardyn put on an exhausted smile and turned around, the last thing he would do had they reunited in any other way, had he been in other condition.

"Let's go see the baby, Aurea, and then we'll talk, is that alright? I missed you so much, and I don't-"

"You'll die, won't you."

Ardyn stopped in his tracks. Aurea deserved to be looked at, to have an answer, but he remained with his back turned. _He_ didn't want to be seen.

"This ordeal, it's draining you. Consuming you. And you know it."

"I wouldn't say draining." _Maybe consuming._

He blinked when it occured to him the possibility that Aurea's keen knowledge of him might not be the only thing that had triggered her worry. He sighed tiresomely and turned then to her.

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to rest in Tenebrae. What news did our good Oracle share with you?"

Aurea seemed the slighest offended. "I'm not one to pry in matters that are beyond me. However, you are a matter that _does_ belong to me. And I'm worried."

"So what did she tell you?"

Her sigh appeared funnily exasperated to Ardyn, reminding him of other times when she'd try to argument against some opinion or tale of his - good memories - but her words carried a heaviness far too different from those distant days.

"What she did say was that you're _'paying a high price for the world.'"_ Aurea's expression heaved again, shattering his recollection of good days. "You know what she means, don't you?"

"I do have an idea. Yes."

" _'You have an ide-'_ " A new exasperated wheeze. "Ardyn, you're killing yourself. That is what you are doing. Was this the price the Gods demanded for the world to be saved? Did you know and hide it from me?"

"It may come as a surprise to you that I don't know everything. I knew what I had to do, what I was told to do."

"But..."

"I don't think I have anywhere else I can go but continue forward. Wasn't it you that once told me something of the sort?"

Aurea couldn't smile like him.

"Where will it lead?"

"To dawn. The days are lengthening already. You're back to your health, as is Clara. Her child has been born, just as healthy. This is what I know, Aurea. This is what I see everytime I cleanse a daemon out of someone. I watched the result of my actions, the good it brought. So I continued, regardless the price."

"You shouldn't. I'm serious," she added to his chuckled scoff. "It's not selfishness to wish for your well being over others. Of course, I am grateful that you saved me, that you saved so many people, and I'm not one to wish the end of the world, but you... If you can save people, I am the first to support you, but not if you destroy yourself in the process. I may be unworthy for even thinking these words, for feeling this way, but maybe it's just human nature, just my nature. I..."

"It's almost over. Do you really wish me to have come this far and now give up? It's not something so simple."

"But is this the price? You are getting ill, Ardyn. You're pale, tired, and have been so for a while now or Izunia wouldn't have mention it the way he did. Do the Gods really demand such a high payment for a war that was theirs to begin with?"

Ardyn had never seen Aurea shed a single tear for whatever the motive for all the years they had been together. Her voice was embedded with her pain and reason, but her eyes were dry as she finally reached for him and held him in her arms. It felt like he could finally breathe and that he was choking at the same time - a confusing feeling that he had no room for and finally grasped some moment of peace of mind, wrapping his arms around Aurea and resting his head on hers. Her hair had the same exact perfume he recalled, and he breathed it in hoping it would remain forever, or whichever time he had left.

Too soon, the blessed moment passed.

"Izunia will rule after you."

He held her closer. Her words reminded him of a conversation he once had with Clara, what Clara said on the matter and regarding her husband that perhaps she wouldn't have ever said in his presence, as careful and thoughtful as they were. Hardly would have. He was also relieved he could recall it without any voice echoing taking over his mind again, grounded to the present and Aurea in his arms.

"He will."

"I wish we could have had children. I've always wanted a son."

Ardyn chuckled, the most genuine he recalled having felt in weeks.

"Well, even if I _am_ tired, I suppose I can try to find some energy for that if you want to."

She scoffed and nipped at his arm, but she smiled against his chest.

"Your nephew is waiting to be properly introduced to the King, or do you forget?"

"Yes, yes of course."

Aurea moved her head and looked up at him, straight into his eyes. Her face was finally rid of the pained frown and Ardyn could see the thin lines on the corners of her eyes that were starting to deepen when she smiled. He smiled at that, and how beautiful they made her look.

"Lucis is a blessed kingdom to have you as its first King."

Simple words that made everything wrong seem right again.

"Thank you."

Ardyn changed into clean clothes and accompained Aurea to Clara's chambers, where she was framed by several handmaidens and her husband, still clearly exhausted but as happy as she could ever be, breastfeeding the smallest newborn Ardyn had yet seen.

Too soon they were commanded to leave by Izunia, calling on to Clara's need to rest.

Too soon the peaceful heaven Aurea brought him was cut short.

Too soon he left Insomnia to what hopefully would be end of the Starscourge and the end of his torment.

.

One of the last people he healed - one of the last afflicted by the Scourge - was an elderly man from a village bordering Accordo. A man who had lived such a full life of personal gains and losses, who had witnessed rise and fall of an empire as bright as Solheim and lived to see wars raged and conquered. An old man with a full life, or a little girl with a life ahead of her - no life deserved be ended in such a drastic way as being contorted and corrupted into a savage beast. Who would deserve such a fate, after all?

The family of the elder received Ardyn with an awkward fearfulness - maybe it was just anguished resignation - that was surely justifiable by the mix of emotions of hoping and acceptance of an inevitable end to the suffering. All their relunctance turned into joy when the their father and grandfather gasped life again and recovered his mind.

"Thank you, my lord! May the Astrals bless you! No one else could bestow such blessing, it's truly a heavenly power!"

"We apologize, we should have never... how could I have doubted, you are a savior, my lord!"

Ardyn barely knew how to channel strength to maintain a cover, but his body had somehow found some form of self sustainance that allowed him to smile and bow his head when all he wanted was to fall and gasp for air.

"Those foul rumors are but jealous gossip, anyone who has seen and felt your power will never believe such falseness."

The sustaining that kept him shivered at that in warning, but the tiredness underneath didn't allow for it to make the bend it should have. He simply replied some empty comment and assured them their gratitude was enough when they offered him food, and wished the elder many more years with his loved ones.

.

The sight of Insomnia even from a distance brought a calming warmth to him, a homesickeness and homebounding he hadn't felt before.

Anyone who came across him found the King of Lucis to be exhausted, long strife finally taking a last toll on his resistence and soon to force him to fall ill. The people thanked him, some wished him swift and good recovering rest, and others greeted him and quickly averted their words into previous conversations.

Ardyn didn't find it odd. He was too tired and only wished he could sleep for a whole day, knowing even closing his eyes would hardly bring sleep and only ache and nightmares. The pressure in his head was so constant he barely remembered having lived without pain.

Everyone greeted him appropriately in the castle. The King returned after one month of traveling, and the weariness of such endeavour was clear, so their words were short just like the people's in the city.

The one person to finally talk with Ardyn without awkwardness or excessive care was one of the eldest of the handmaidens that first offered herself to serve under the King of Lucis - the same woman that had always been close to the family, caring for Ardyn and Izunia since they were children. Ardyn found her on the brightest room of the castle, where now a crib had been installed since he last had been there. The warmth of the afternoon sun painted the room bright and comfortable, the best ambience for a baby to calmly rest after his meal. Ardyn heard the baby boy move and yawn when he stepped inside, and the old handmaiden turned and smiled at his sight.

"It's good to see you returned, my lord."

"It's good to be back." How true that was. Ardyn smiled back at the old lady. "I don't think I will do such a travel again any time soon."

"Everyone is rejoicing, my lord. The Blight is over. Lucis will forever hold your memory."

"Please." Gratitude and promise. Aurea's words. "How is everyone? My wife, Clara and the baby? Are they alright?"

"Lady Clara is attending the matters on the parade, my lord," the lady replied, making Ardyn flinch however slightly just from the thought. The celebrations would still be a happy occurance of course, but everything seemed to be tiresome. Hopefully it wouldn't be in the next few days.

"I see. Is Aurea with her?" The handmaiden shook her head. "I miss her terribly."

"I haven't seen the Queen since..."

A second, younger handmaiden appeared, bowing her head to Ardyn and exchanging some words with the old lady. He left them to their affairs and approached the crib, peeking at his tiny nephew. He blinked and smiled in surprise at how much the baby had grown in just one month. Pax was quiet but very much awake, gazing up at the ceiling and the light rays that came through the window.

"Hello, little one. Do you still remember me?" he asked softly, attracting the attention of the boy with impressive swiftness. "Hello, Pax. What a wonderful day it is today, hm?"

Ardyn temptatively tried to poke at the baby's hands, only to see an easy and pure smile appear without any other attempt on his part. Pax's tiny fingers clenched in reflex around Ardyn's pinky, and it almost felt like he was blessed and worthy to be accepted in this child's world.

Children this small were an adorable sight. It could hardly be blamed that the instinctive reaction was to coo at them; Ardyn smiled despite himself at the child's bright big eyes fixed on him, at something up his eyes and brows.

"Oh, you like my hair, little one?" He bounced his head to one side, making the lock of hair fly and Pax followed it, a new instinctive smile on his tiny face. "You like it, don't you. It's wavy, see? It's pretty, isn't it?"

The baby remained fascinated and smiling at the new discovery in his world, holding Ardyn's finger with an impressively strong grip of his miniscule fist.

The old lady smiled at the scene. The younger handmaiden had left. "He's a very calm child."

"He seems to be, yes."

"Do you wish to hold him?"

And so Ardyn found himself with the tiniest and fluffiest bundle resting in his arms, equal parts scared and awed as the baby chirped happily, that easy smile showing once more before his face became tranquil curiosity. Apparently confident in his abilities (perhaps more so than him) and clearly disregarding how tired he might be (and was), the old handmaiden excused herself for a moment to help the other lady, and aside from holding a month old baby, Ardyn was now doing that completely alone.

The baby's eyes were still fixed on his hair it would seem, and it appeared to be well before the child's brow twitched somewhat and he moaned a complain. And another. And started curling uncomfortably in the bundle of blankets.

"Uh oh. Oops. Maybe we shouldn't have been left alone, what do I do now?" Ardyn looked up, slightly worried, but he was still alone. Well, he should be more than capable to do this. If he had been trusted the Crystal by the Astrals and healed so many in Eos, surely he could cradle one restless baby for some minutes. He turned back down to his nephew, as after all the only approval he currently needed was from the boy. "This can't be so hard, right? Am I squeezing you, Pax? Or do you want to walk? Let's walk a bit. You're tired from being just laying down, right?"

He hummed a song without so much as thinking about it, walking calmly through the room. Pax stopped complaining and meowled what to Ardyn was a happy approval.

Ardyn felt more at rest here now than he had for the longest time. Like when he held Aurea. His exhaustion was far from mind, even the constant pressure in his skull and the clawing in the back of his head were distant for those few minutes when he simply held the baby and waltzed softly and slowly from one side to the other, walking through the light rays that basked the room and feeling the warmth seep through his clothes.

He felt more than heard the change, the steps that approached and ended the last blessful moment in his life.

Ardyn had stopped walking then, Pax fighting sleep with stubborness. He turned very slowly to the door when the tap of steps ceased, the headache returning so violently he almost flinched while Izunia in turn narrowed his gaze at him.

"Ardyn. Where's Clara?"

"Clara was busy attending to other matters," Ardyn explained simply, rocking the baby on his lap with such a gentleness he barely seemed to move. The baby seemed to enjoy the faux moviment, enough to satisfy his restlessness and cradle him to sleep. "I'm glad I got to meet my nephew. He's precious."

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long. Have you seen Aurea?" The clawing at his mind was returning unmercifully. His whole body was growing heavy suddenly, as if the break from the straining was now taking a bigger toll. All signals that it was more than time to discuss the situation and move on, to wherever that might lead him to. "I'd like to talk with all of you. Perhaps I should attend to the Crystal first, but I do think that... Well, maybe I should write to the Oracle Stella before. One would think I had more than time to think all this through."

"What are you going on about, Ardyn? And why are you with Pax alone?" Izunia crossed the room in swift steps. When Ardyn realized his intention, he extended his arms to prevent his brother from ripping the baby off him roughly and wake the child that had held against sleep so much.

"I'm not harming your son, Izunia."

"What do you know of children? No one is more susceptible to energy than them."

Ardyn frowned at the choice of words but said nothing. Izunia turned on his heels and walked out, calling for the old lady and clearly forgetting that children were just as susceptible to loud noise as to energy.

The pressure was turning his face into a frown. Ardyn followed after him, and managed to catch up with Izunia as he was quite inappropriately scolding the old handmaiden for failing her simplest duties. Ardyn saw the look of confusion and worry on her eyes as she held the baby, who had started to cry with the commotion, and took him some place quieter.

"Izunia, surely..."

"Come with me."

Indeed, Ardyn would have followed after him, but the sharpness of the order managed to shake him. The pressure on his skull blurred his vision for a moment too long and he hastened after Izunia, not processing the reason for this increased pain, nor any of the static rumbles on his mind or the direction his steps were taking him.

"Have you heard any of the tales that are abound, brother?"

"I haven't been resting much at all, Izunia, so I'm afraid..."

"Answer me without so much damned blathering for once, Ardyn."

"I will one day understand where your increasing agressiveness comes from," Ardyn replied instead.

Izunia shot him a glance that was more than annoyed.

"You've returned to the castle shortly, yet disappeared. I've been looking for you."

"Like you yourself said, brother, I've been back for a short while. I happened to come across your son first."

Whatever it was Izunia expected from the answer, if it anything at all, drove him to turn his back to Ardyn again and step inside the throne chamber where he had been leading them into.

Were there to come a time for future wars to be waged, the Crystal would need to be more safetly secured, but as they stood, full peace was so tangibly close that Ardyn had found no need to hide it away. On the contrary, seeing the Crystal that had been entrusted to him was a reminder of why he had the power of healing, and also brought a sense of safety for all the people that dedicated their lives into protecting the Lucis Caelum family. As such, the Crystal bestowed its own light to the throne room, and currently, casted light and shadows over the people inside. The court that Ardyn was forced to quickly form when he was chosen as King by the Gods was mostly present. The six men and women had been speaking when they entered, but now their conversations were cut short and their gazes fixed on them.

It was unnerving.

"You seem to have put on quite a show." The words came out without him processing them.

"You should have come here first, rather than go after my son."

"Why in the world would I come to the throne room? I'm tired from the journey. I was looking for Aurea, not-"

Apparently Izunia wasn't the only person that was acting strangely. Something he said seemed to make several of the court members exchange looks, even though there was hardly anything out of the ordinary.

Ardyn managed to stop at the entrance, glancing around at the chamber without knowing, however, what to take from this. Everything was happening suddenly and without any plausible tie, it almost made him wonder if he was so tired his mind was blocking some explicit explanation for this. Izunia's outburst, the court summoned to the throne room for no reason he would consider relevant - he had returned, yes, but on none of the previous voyages had any meeting been set immediately on his return.

And despite the bonding and reliability between them, they didn't spontaneously group without him summoning them.

Something was wrong.

His vision was blurring from pain again, turning everything whitened and spinning in its place.

"Everyone. I will say, this past five minutes are confusing me, but I am very tired. So if you could-"

"Shut up, Ardyn. For once, take a look around and see what's happening. And know that you will not get your way anymore."

Ardyn stepped forward, trying to decide what to say then, when it all became both meaningless and more relevant than ever. Izunia lifted his hand and there was a wrap in the air when suddenly his sword was summoned to him. Ardyn was forced to stop in his tracks, eyes wide while Izunia's narrowed his, fist clenched around the handle of the sword.

The Crystal was glowly unnervingly behind him. None of the people in the throne room seemed to note or care. Izunia stood in front of it and lifted his head sternly. It wasn't exactly contempt or disgust in his features, nor pride or prepotency, yet it seemed to be a mix of it all.

Most of all, disdain.

Ardyn couldn't even blink, eyes jumping from the Crystal to Izunia. This... _something is wrong._ The thought was so childish even he would have chastised himself. If he really had any other reaction than confusion, which he didn't. So it was the most valid and accurate thought he could have at that point.

_Something is wrong._

The Crystal granted power to their blood line, yes. But this...

"It may be escaping your understanding, Ardyn, but it should be quite clear. You are no longer the King."

.

to be continued

.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger yay. I don't recall ever writing a fic with a cliffhanger.
> 
> There's so much scattered information and holes in the canon content that it's confusing and overwhelming, but I guess we all make our interpretations on what we do have.
> 
> So I think it's pretty safe to say that Solheim fell recently (as in within Ardyn's lifetime) and so Lucis, Tenebrae Accordo and Niflheim are all pretty recent and in their earlier prime time. I believe that in VS XIII the Crystal was more 'accessable' as in the throne room, and I decided to have it so. Niflheim wasn't waging any war at this point, nor did the Lucis Caelum family have an Old Wall to protect itself from the Scourge, in my view. I think the Old Wall was built through generations (After all that's a lot of Kings), not built in a day. The timeline says it's around 600 years later when the new calendar starts though? Anyway.
> 
> I decided to name Ardyn's wife as Aurea (far too similar to Noctis's mother name as revealed by official info, Aulea) because I took it as an evolution throughout millenia. Having myself a name that evolved from other, I figured I might play this card and add a little background meaningless detail on Eos and changes. So Aulea became an altered version of the once-name Aurea. In my head, I can't help but picture Aurea looking very similar to Gentiana. This is because I think Gentiana is beautiful, but it could have really horribly gut-wretching interpretations as to why Shiva would eventually chose such a human shape. But that's up to you.
> 
> ...This fic will be meeting a change in rating.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated if you find anything to say, please point out typos and mistakes.


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